Q&A: Brandon Stansell Celebrates Engagement with New Love Song
Singer/songwriter Brandon Stansell and his partner, Stephen, are engaged! In this Q&A, Brandon tells me how he popped the question with some help from 30 of their closest friends and their beloved dog, Blue.
Of course, Brandon wrote and recorded a new song, “Now I Do,” to mark the big milestone.
(Interview has been edited for length and clarity.)
Hello, Brandon! You just had a pretty amazing weekend. Congratulations! You're engaged!
Thank you. I know it's like the greatest feat. I never thought it would happen to me, but here we are.
So, tell me how it happened. I mean, I saw some amazing videos of it. You had a bunch of your friends come together to make this a real chosen family kind of event.
So, we were in Palm Springs for the weekend. My partner and I were celebrating our second anniversary on Saturday. We went out to dinner with some friends that we were staying with for the weekend.
And then when we got back to the house. We opened that door, and there were like 30 of our closest friends just kind of waiting for us. We had a candle lit runway to the backyard. So, it was pretty incredible. And I got to talk a little bit, and then obviously propose. And then one of my best friends gave a toast and Stephen’s sister gave a toast.
And then we had my producer and his wife, who's this amazing artist here in LA., sing a couple of songs, including the song that I wrote for him that came out the day before. “Now I Do.” It was a big night. Just the people that we knew were that were the closest to us and that have kind of supported us and our relationship through the years. It was just really special. It was a pretty great night.
So, what were those words that you said before you got down on one knee? Set the stage for us.
Oh, you want the whole tour! [Laughs] It was a blur. I kept trying to write things out, right? I was like, “I'm going to write it out. I'm going to like be prepared.” And then it's just wasn't coming together. And so, it got to be that day, and I was like, “Okay, I guess we're just doing this on the fly.”
There was a little piece that I did read that was something that I had written for him a year ago. You know, I was boohooing the whole time. Oh yeah. When it came time to do this proposal, I just couldn't find better words than I already had. So I ended up reading that again to him and then asking him.
So how did you and Stephen first meet?
We met two years ago this weekend, just on a random date. We just went out to dinner one night and I just went crazy for him. So yeah, so we've been dating ever since.
So it was like an instant kind of connection.
Oh yeah, I mean, it's just that he's got this smile! I always made fun of the people that were like, “Oh, when you know, you just know.” And I'm like, “You guys are fools. That sounds stupid.” And then it happened to me, and I was like, “I guess I'm the idiot.”
I think we hear some of that in the song “Now I Do,” which came out to coincide with your engagement. Is that the vulnerability you have in this relationship where you're able to really show up as yourself?
I think there’s something to relationships that are easy. I think I always grew up having modeled around me just kind of fraught relationships and the idea that like, “Oh, you just got to fight for it to make it work.” I don't think that that is true. I think that there are obviously moments, but we are a peaceful household.There's not a lot of turmoil going on over here, and it's really been that way since we first met. It's an easy love, which is what I always wanted.
Is that your dog we see roaming around as you’re popping the question?
That's my dog — always wanting the spotlight. We got all these people around us, and he is just looking for the attention, and so he just comes and plops down next to me, which I didn't even realize. I was so laser focused, I didn't even realize he was meandering around until we start to see pictures after the fact. He was just sitting there posing.
I mean, his dads are getting engaged. It's a big day for him!
It was pretty great though.
What's the dog's name?
That's my dog, Blue — our little mutt husky.
I understand Stephen grew up in Fresno, California. Of course, you're from Tennessee. Is there a difference in the way that y'all grew up? I know that your journey to acceptance has been documented in your documentary, Three Chords and a Lie, and in your music. What is Stephen's journey like in that respect?
Yeah, I mean, not to get too much into it. It's so funny. Growing up, I always just assumed California was like this one big thing, right? You think of Californians as kind of the L.A. people. At least that's how I grew up in Tennessee
Because what you see on television, in the movies is just glamour, right? Sophisticated, progressive glamour.
But the idea of growing up in the sticks in California is not a thing that ever registered to me. But that's where he's from. I mean, Fresno is not that big — it’s about three and a half hours away from Los Angeles. It's a little out there. So, I think there was a lot of similarities on how we grew up. We both grew up in very conservative Christian families, and I think the majority of people in that kind of world, being queer was not something, and still is not something, that is celebrated. So, we had varying degrees of what it was like to come out, but I think that there was struggle on both sides of that. So, obviously, something that we've connected on.
I think that's what made this weekend so special is that, like, I'm nearing 40. It’s taken a long time to get to this place where you can recognize the difference between family by blood and family by love. The people that were there were chosen. They were not there because of some obligation or because we felt like they needed to be a part of our world in that moment but because they were special to us and that we wanted them there. We wanted to celebrate this moment with them. And yeah, it was really, really special.
I just love it because it’s something to keep celebrating. In our lifetime, I mean, I know for me, when I started dating my husband was just when gay marriage had just become legal nationwide.
So, it is this experience of getting to live out something that we didn’t see modeled to us as kids. It's like a dream that we didn't even know we could have. I just love telling the story over and over again.
Yeah, it's pretty incredible. I mean, that was such a hurdle for me, too. How do you want something you never thought you could have? It's just a great thing to find someone not only that you love, but that you want this thing with. It was something that you just never dreamed was ever going to really be a part of your part of your world.
We talked a few weeks ago as you were getting ready to release the single, “Now I Do,” and you’d been planning to propose to Stephen. And I was just so nervous. I was like, “How are you keeping him from knowing this is going on?”
I didn't do that great of a job!
Because listening to the song, you sing, “I do.” The marriage vows are in the title!
I was just very nervous. Every single person from my producer to my co writers to friends were scratching their heads. They’re like, “You’re releasing this before, and you don't think he's going to know?
I'm like, “No, we're fine. He's not going to expect anything.” They were like, "You're an idiot.” Anyway. So, it turns out I was incorrect. He suspected something, but I don't think I would have done it any differently.
I was just marveling at your coordination of all of this stuff with the weekend trip and event plus the single release. I saw that your fans were really excited to have some new music from you. So like, what's been going on? I know that you’ve taken most of this year off from making and releasing music.
Yeah, I mean, I imagine that all artists go through ups and downs, and this is not a down by any means.
I just needed a little bit of air. I’ve been making music since 2015. That's when I put out my first EP, so we are at the 10 year mark. As much as it is a passion, it is a job. It’s work, and it costs things like time, money, energy, and time away from other things.
So, I was planning on taking the whole year off, and then when I knew I was going to propose, I just felt like I couldn't let the moment pass without creating something for it. So, that was really the only reason for this song, and we'll see where we go from there.
I look back on the last 10 years, and I have no regrets like for anything, in terms of like the sacrifices that I made to put out the music that I did.
A friend of mine that I grew up with in Tennessee reached out to me over the weekend, after this song came out. She told me, “We were just driving to Atlanta, and we listened to your catalog from like tip to tail. You can just hear, not only like the musical differences, and the growth and stuff, but you can just hear the healing in your music as this linear thing. And then you kind of cap it with this song that just came out.” She was like, “I'm so happy for that.”
Knowing where I came from, and the hell that I had been through coming out, it was nice to just see that perspective a little bit. Knowing that my music is a pretty good representation of the chapters of my life from when I started creating until now, I think that's pretty incredible.
I have approached my art with the mindset of, “If I'm going to write something, it's going to mean something. If I'm going to spend the money, and spend the time to make a record and put it out, it's going to be exactly what I want it to be. And it's going to be me.” So, I've always been, been pretty proud about that.
Brandon Stansell, is there anything else that we can look forward to in 2025, besides your nuptials? Have y’all set a date?
No, we haven't. I was not even prepared for that, and everyone's been asking us. We haven't quite gotten there yet. It's been a few days, so just give us a beat and then we'll figure it out. But no, we're excited and definitely looking forward to what's next.
Congratulations again.
Thank you, Hunter Kelly.
Y'all go listen to, “Now I Do,” the new single from newly engaged, Brandon Stansell.
